Going back in time..

I'm in love and I'm very happy with my girlfriend. But, it's not my first relationship. I've dated girls before. Sometimes, I think about it. How am I here today? At this exact position in life. Feeling this exact emotion. It's all destiny I believe. Because, a year ago today, I wouldn't have imagined this day. I'm in a relationship. And everything seems perfect with her.

But, everything seemed perfect with my first girlfriend, and the second one too. The point is, what do we really want? I believe, we want to be happy. We need to be happy in the moment. I was happy with Snehal, I was happy with Michelle and I'm happy right now. So why do I feel like it was the wrong person before?

When people are happy, they believe everything before that moment wasn't good enough. But they're wrong. We should never hate something that made us happy in the past. I was more than happy with Snehal. But it was in the past. Today, I'm more than happy too. But that doesn't mean the past was wrong or sad. It just means I'm happy in the moment. It means I'm in peace with my past and I enjoy the moment. It means I have moved on and look forward to the future. It means I'm content and happy with what I have in the moment.

But still, there are a few questions which are unanswered. Because we can't ask anybody and because we don't want to answer it ourselves. Like everybody, I have imagined too. I have been confused too. I have been to so many beautiful places, I have enjoyed so many breathtaking views. And I realize that I have wasted all the opportunities while being in those beautiful places. I mean how many places have I ruined forever by being there with the wrong girl? I think a person has a certain allotment of beautiful places and breathtaking views per lifetime and I've used all mine up.

But as I grow older, and as my love gets mature day by day, I realize, that all those opportunities, all those breathtaking views with the wrong girls, don't count. Why? Because, a day comes when a girl walks into your life and it changes everything. She hits the reset button on your world, she makes everything new again, she makes it seem ridiculous that you ever considered settling. Every old place with her seems new, every breathtaking view you've witnessed before seems the first time, every feeling you get when she's in your arms, is delightful and heavenly.

That's love. It makes everything else seem less important. It makes you a new person. It gives you a new definition.

Without her..

It will be 3 years since we started dating. 3 years of love, care, fights, make ups and growing into each other. Its hard to believe but, in these three years, we've met just 4 or 5 times. Yet, we are going strong. Its the love in our hearts, the care for each other, the maturity and how we spend time when we are together. Its been more than a year since I met her. We are connected through texts. And when she comes to India, we talk on phone, but we hardly get time to meet due to our work commitments.

Even though we have met just a couple of times, we still love each other, trust each other and care for each other. This is my longest relationship yet. And the strongest. I am lucky to get her. And with every night that goes by without talking to her, I love her even more. And I know she feels the same way for me.

We've seen joys, sorrows, heartbreaks, deaths of family members and so many things. And we've stood together and strong through all this. Maybe the things we've been through together bind us strongly. Whatever it is, I am blessed to have her in my life.

I am sitting here, in my bedroom, writing this. And with every word that I type, I miss her more. My life comes to a stop when she goes away. Everything just pauses and my motivation, my senses come to a dead end. And I have to start all over again. When she comes back to India, I spring back to life. I start dreaming again. I just want her to be with me. I just want to be with her. All the time. Shes my sunshine.

I realise how lonely I am without her. Maybe I know that if she goes, my life will come to a dead end. I wont have enough motivation to go on with my life. I wont have happiness left. The spark that keeps me alive will just burn out. And she knows this. She keeps me motivated. I am very important for her and I am lucky that there is a person who loves and cares so much about me. Shes my angel.

My life would have been very different without her. She taught me the correct way of living. She taught me to stand up for myself. She taught me to respect others. Whatever I am, it is because of her. I owe it to her. My parents and her, are the people who are most important to me. These are the people, for whom, I can lay down my life. These are the people who love me a lot. And I am thankful to God for letting me have these people. I must have done something exceptionally good to get this.

I can go on and on about how I feel about her. But it can never be enough. I miss you baby. I want to be with you. Please come back soon.

I love you.