For her..

Talking to all my mates on chat suddenly brought back all those feelings. The feeling of love, friendship, excitement and joy. One thing I realized more than any other was about her. My first love.

Even now, after all these years, there’s still just this part of me where if there’s even the slightest chance something I do could make her smile, I don’t even think about it. I just do it.

I mean if she needed something and I can make that magically appear I would. I would open a vein in my arm if I could bleed that thing out just to make her happy. Because she is like sunshine. So pretty and wonderful. Seeing her sad is something I cannot live with. I cannot stand the idea of someone or something hurting her. I would do anything for her. I would be anything for her. Even if not being in her life would bring a smile on her pretty face, I would go away. I would rather see her happy from far, than be around her and make her sad.

After all this time..for her..always..

Still there..

Shyam created a group on whatsapp for our college mates. Garware, the best of the times. Endless nightouts, fun, projects and memories. Its been 3 years since we passed out. But it feels like yesterday when we were still putting project together to present it in the auditorium in the next 15 minutes. Life passes so fast. You dont even know it and things become memories.

Talking to everybody made me nostalgic (more than I already am). I shared a few pics with the guys. Everybody laughed, smiled, realised...that we have come a long way since those days. Things were so different back then. Everything was so simple. We had no worries of the future or money or parents. We just wanted to have fun. We were carefree. But now, its all gone. The times, the moments and the people. Everybody is far from each other. We cant meet even though we are in the same city. Life does that to us. We get jobs, we get busy, we are occupied with the new people in our life. We forget that we had something beautiful back then. We hardly try to keep up and preserve that.

Always sitting at the last table in Sai Garden, ordering the same mysore sada dosa, taking a rickshaw from university gate to the college (even thought its a 5 min walk), doing all the work on the last day of presentation. That was the life. And now its all work, office, targets, waking up everyday with no motivation and going back to sleep with a day wasted.

I pity myself and everybody that we had something so precious and we have lost it. But its life. We have to move on. One good thing is that, we are all still friends. Exes, friends and brothers. Everybody can still talk to each other. No grudges, no hatred, no running away.

Theres another thing which I realised. She will always be special to me. No matter how far we go, how much we move on in life, her one word is gonna weigh a million times more than other peoples sentences. She will always have that place in my heart, in me. Nobody can ever take that place. My first love. Those endless photos taken on my Sony Ericsson, those webcam photos with hundreds of poses (literally hundreds) and those nights where we slept in each others arms. Pure, wonderful and lovely. She will always be with me. In my memories, in my heart.

Im glad we all had a chat today. It was great seeing the guys. I miss all of them. I love them. They are the ones who made those two years beautiful. Without them, those two years would have been plain white, which are now colourful when I look back.